They drove me to it
The Democrats did it. I supported them, and they came for me.
I don’t mind the emails; emails I can manage. It was the texts. The unending messages presaging doom and begging, ON THEIR KNEES, for just one more donation. Except that it’s never just one more donation, it’s ten more, one hundred more, one thousand requests with a 600x match!
I don’t regret sending money to Democrats, but I sure regret letting them get hold of my phone number.
This is a time of high anxiety, and I’ve been managing mine pretty well through the tried and true method of avoidance. No news! No radio, no tv, NYT app used only for Spelling Bee, Washington Post only for the advice columns. I’ve avoided the news like it carried the plague. Of course it still seeps in around the cracks, but I’ve constructed this wall of silence carefully, with the sole target of maintaining my sanity, if not my composure, during this excruciating election.
But my party won’t let it go. And I get it - I know they need money. Mostly because a previous Supreme Court, one that wasn’t stacked by a rapist, struck down election finance reform; in part by determining that corporations are people? We really do live in the End Times.
In an effort to stem the flow of texts I tried replying STOP to them, as instructed. Ha! Might as well try to halt a stampede with an idea. There is no stopping.
I moved on to reporting each text as junk before deleting. I didn’t feel good about that - I don’t want to wreck anyone’s chance at gaining public office against MTG or some other blowhard wannabe despot. But for real, I’m inundated and having to hide from my phone. To which I’m addicted, but that’s another story of the demise of… everything.
Finally I started blocking numbers as the texts rolled in. I think this has had some effect. I mean, it hasn’t stopped them. But I think it’s slowed them down? I was getting at least 20 a day and now it’s more like seven or eight. I certainly wish I’d used this strategy back in early October, but there it is.
I'm hoping to exit this fugue state in the next several days. It remains to be seen what will replace it: tenuous hope or outright panic. But at least, perhaps, my phone will stop screaming doom at me?
Wishing you peace and joy and hoping our votes do the trick.
OK, love you, bye!
Julia
Recommendation!
I’ve gone back to something I really loved in 2020 but have only dabbled in since: unstructured daily writing. The 750words website is sort of the digital version of morning pages, the private journaling practice invented by Julia Cameron circa 1992 and adopted by millions.
I’ve done lots and lots and LOTS of the analog pages over the years, and I've loved the process. But... I like doing it on a keyboard better. I’ve read plenty of claims that writing longhand is better, but I’m a firm believer in good enough, and since I do all my writing on a computer it kind of feels like home.
Anyway! 750words makes it fun, with badges for hitting milestones, the ability to search your pages, access to those pages whether or not you pay the very modest membership fee ($5 per month), and other cool stuff. The site has been around since 2009, and this year one of the founders is taking time off of paid work to make the site even better.
All this to say that I find this daily journaling super helpful - look, I’ve even accepted journal as a verb! I guess we can evolve.
Whether you’re a writer or not, getting your thoughts out of your head can prep it for all the thinking you’re bound to do. Every day that you write you get your stats updated - here’s a portion of what mine looks like today. Give it a look! You might love it as much as I do. The first 30 days are free.
Recently published work
I pitched this story to seven other publications before it was accepted at Next Avenue. So thanks to them and thanks to my own perseverance - not always my strongest trait. This trip was not only a fantastic bonding experience with my kid, it really helped me reimagine my place in the world, one that had started to feel dull and defeatist.
Polish Club is begging us to stop for a minute, and so is this email. Forward it to someone who doesn't pester you when you need some peace and quiet.