Bury me deep
You remember when TikTok was obsessed with men thinking about the Roman Empire, like, ALL THE TIME? And those of us who basically never even consider the Romans couldn’t really fathom why that would pop into someone’s head on the regular?
And I, like many others, wondered if I had my own version, this mild obsession, like a movie running constantly in the background. But I didn’t.
Or I guess it would be more accurate to say that I didn’t realize that I had my own preoccupation; it just came on so subtly that I hadn’t noticed.
Now I can’t promise that this fetish will remain in my subconscious forever, poking its head into my brainwaves like some kind of designer iceberg. But for now it’s something that I think about at least once per week, sometimes more often.
It’s a house.
Not a house I own or will ever visit. Not a house I need or which would fulfill most of the things I desire in a home.
The first of which is being situated somewhere other than Portland, Oregon.
I’m not a Zillow stalker, though I think that sounds like a fun hobby. I’m not in the market for a new place to live. But several months ago a friend was thinking about moving and sent me this listing.
I used to scroll back into our text history to pull it up, but now I have it saved in my notes. Which is what made me realize that this might be more than just a passing flirtation.
This house is right up my mid-century alley. And the plants! Giant plants taking advantage of the high ceilings, large rooms, abundant sunshine. Truth be told, if it weren’t for the plants I’d have forgotten this place as easily as I’ve lost the name of that one actor who was in The Matrix and also in The Godfather…
In my own home I’m cursed with eight foot ceilings and average-sized rooms. It’s not a setup that can welcome the minimalist jungle I see in The House.
Yes, it did sell for nearly a million dollars. And yes, it was way too big for me to live in by myself. But that doesn't mean I don't wish it were mine, filled with big green friends.
I’m an outdoor gardener, and have generally been an indifferent indoor plant person. I’ve had some that I’ve loved, and I’ve killed my fair share (wow, psychopath). I like plants, but I was never one of those plant maniacs. Not like this guy, who, frankly, gives maniacs a good name.
But something has happened to me, and now I spend time and money on these things that, truth be told, bring me a bit of stress. And is the enjoyment commensurate with the outlay of those vital energies?
I am an actual parent, of real live humans, and I understand parental anxiety. And while I do roll my eyes at people talking about their fur babies and plant babies (sorry!) I understand that equal parts love and anxiety are the basic building blocks of parenthood.
So yes, ludicrous as it sounds, stress may be part of the enjoyment.
For years I had just a few houseplants, including a rather epic aloe that didn’t enjoy being repotted and left us for the great compost heap in the sky. Then my kid got way into owning plants because she is a chip off my old block and loves to take on new projects and get deep into them.
She filled her apartment with plants and was aiming to own at least a hundred. And if you are a young person in 2025 with anxiety and no real life plan that’s a pretty solid goal.
But then she got a better job and went back to school and currently it's a lot of work to keep up with them all.
So it used to be that she'd take home my plants but now we've had a bit of a reversal and I'm taking home her plants. And it appears that I'm becoming a wee bit fanatical about them but hey, a lot less than a lot of people in the world according to TikTok.
It helps (well, feeds the obsession, if that's helpful) that I work in a store that has a lot of plants and offers a generous discount to employees. Super good deals on pots there, too.
Because let's be real, every hobby is rife with expense, and only some of it is from the object of the hobby itself. As our late friend Wiliam Carlos Williams might have said, so much depends upon the accessories.
I don't expect I'll end up turning my entire home into a jungle, but then again, I didn’t expect the majority of things that have happened in my life, so who knows?
If I lived in That House and had the income that would make an urban jungle possible I might in fact be in danger of filling it to the gills with plants and thus letting a hobby take over my life.
But here's the thing.
I don't own any pets mainly because I like the idea of leaving at a moment's notice for an indeterminate amount of time. And while at the moment this is not my reality, hope springs eternal. And how would it feel to finally have the means to live my nomadic fantasy only to be hindered by my damned greenery?
I imagine I'd be annoyed.
But I need a whole pile of new pots because I am so good at growing plants that most of mine need larger homes. Then of course I'll have all these smaller empty pots and it's a shame to leave them empty. So I’ll probably come home with just a couple more.
If you do not hear from me in the next month please drop by to make sure I'm not buried in the compost pile or so blissed out on extra oxygen that I've forsaken all activities and interests and am simply breathing, breathing, breathing.
Then again, that sounds like a delightful fate. Maybe don't rescue me after all.
Recommendation!
As noted in a previous issue of this newsletter, I have an extremely low tolerance for anxiety-inducing entertainment. I do, however, love a supervillain and futuristic tech. Enter Despicable Me, an animated masterpiece that has both in spades.
Perhaps the greatest boon to our current culture, however, is the Minions. If you aren't familiar with these guys, get thee to a tv and watch the eponymous movie, stat.
Anyone who has had kids around in the past 20 years or so can attest to the creative genius of modern animation. While the rest of the movie industry seems to seek the blandest, most tired storylines possible, the people behind Pixar, Illumination, Laika Studios and Studio Ghibli have been cranking out bangers.
Fortunately for the adults in the room, these films are as entertaining to the olds as the littles. The addition of musical hits from the 70's onward is the cherry on top. Stop watching things that are depressing and revel in the world of possibility!
Poi Dog Pondering knows that we're all food for the plants, and so does this email. Forward it to someone who's contemplating the great circle of life.